My wife Mary died 16 months ago forcing me into a club that no one chooses to join.
Widows and widowers all feel the burden of pain when left behind by a spouse who dies.
While each of us, I am told, responds differently to our circumstances I have observed that most of us have similar paths through “the journey of death”.
Many of us feel a sense of guilt that we did not die first.
Many of us are exhausted by the emotional and sometimes physical toll of losing our best friend.
After a spouse dies even mundane tasks like paying bills can be overwhelming.
When it’s all said and done our most common reaction is our sense of loneliness.
And so we struggle with eating too little or too much, or drinking (often too much). We try to read but we can’t concentrate. We read and reread the same pages in a book – until we give up and stare at the TV.
We talk to people when we can. Just as often we avoid talking to people because more often than not our spouses name comes up and we choke back memories and even tears.
Some “club” members find comfort and even as escape through travel and new relationships.
We have all paid our dues into the “club”…. and similar to the Hotel California you can check-in but you can never leave.